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R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Randomize
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