Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
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I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
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I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize