So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize