just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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