Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize