You really coming over, don't trick.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
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There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
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So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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