well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
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Driving to get a preg test with my ex, wearing my unicorn hat
You are so not ready for motherhood
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
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He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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