My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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