Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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