oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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