i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
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