I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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