I like to think it a success when the cops are called
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
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