I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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