My room smells like vodka and shame
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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