I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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