the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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