i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
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I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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