I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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