So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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