she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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