listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
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On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
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Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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