I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
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we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
me + whiskey = a bad person
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Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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