Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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