We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
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