I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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