I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize