the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
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The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
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You brought string cheese to the strip club
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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