My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
Randomize