So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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