apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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