shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize