Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
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