I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize