You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
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And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
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