maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize