Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
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at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
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I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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