I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
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She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
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Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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