uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
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