I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize