Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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