Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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