I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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