what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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