And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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