yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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