if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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