Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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