Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
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