Sponge bath it is.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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