I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
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